In all seriousness, I ask you, what could be better than a garden party on a glorious May day, under a sumptuous white satiny tent, with platters of little sandwiches, antique tea cups and saucers at each guest’s place setting, and a fashion show?

Last Saturday, at Featherstone Center For The Arts, the Third Annual Garden Tea Party and Fashion Show took place. What cracked me up was that even the first event two years ago was billed as “annual,” which could seem like a stretch if you’d never scheduled one before. But in this case, long may it live! It’s such a fun and festive occasion, with a slam-jam of women (I’d like to shake the hand of any man who’s comfortable enough in his own skin to attend), that we can well imagine the 50th Annual Garden Tea Party And Fashion Show at Featherstone, although most of us who gathered this weekend, being well into advanced middle age, or further along on the timeline, will be watching the scene from the astral plane.

So, for this garden party, my friend Olive Tomlinson of Oak Bluffs, as she has done for all three annual events, organized a table of eight friends, all lovers of fun, fashion and little tea sandwiches. I’ve always depended on Olive as my fashion strategist (and, man, do I need one!) and during the show itself, as models short, tall, young and less young, gorgeous and/or fabulously interesting-looking paraded past, Olive provided a sotto voce running commentary. (Think Joan Rivers on the rampage after four cups of Earl Grey tea).

Designers included Oak Bluffs impresario and owner of PikNik, Michael Hunter. The O.B. boutiques with outfits on the runway were Red Mannequin, Laughing Bear and Vineyard Vines. If the Featherstone fashion extravaganza were any indication — and it surely must be — then apparel this summer will be all over the place, from hippy-trippy fairy princess gowns to drab-colored slacks and tops, short-short jeans for the skinny, sexy youngsters among us, to flowing jagged-edged skirts. Not so much denim this year, and colors are muted, with the exception of the dazzling guest in purple and red.

Did I mention that in addition to the platters of sandwiches there were platters of such sweetmeats as lemon meringue tarts, macaroons and chocolate truffles?

Who would have thought you could have so excellent a time with only tea to drink?

Shout-outs and thanks go to Francine Kelly, Featherstone director Ann Smith, and fashion show coordinators Susan Garrett and Susan Potter.

The day also marked the opening of Holly Alaimo’s annual (and this one has 17 “annuals” in its resume), Flower Show in the main gallery of Featherstone—her own special curating of oil and watercolor florals by Vineyard artists.

Big news for townspeople: Our beloved, hilarious David Madeiras will be retiring from Phillip’s Hardware on Wednesday May 30. On that sad (for us!) occasion, cake will be served between 11 and 2, and we can all get a chance to ask Dave what he plans to do upon retirement. (I already know his answer: It’ll have something to do with outdoor barkaloungers, and a cooler of beer.)

Movie night at the Oak Bluffs library will take place on Thursday, May 31, 6 p.m. You know the library is not allowed to actually name the film, but it’s about a family that purchases a zoo. It’s rated PG, but don’t hold that against it, and admission is free.