I am sitting at this very moment at summer central in Oak Bluffs: the Martha’s Vineyard Gourmet Something & Something, commonly known as Rita’s Bakery, home to the nationally famous Back Door Donuts. Seriously, they write about Back Door in Frommer’s and other big boy guides. This exterior part of the small factory that gives on to the parking lot, in the dark of the night it dispenses donuts and fritters straight from the vat. If you haven’t tried one, you’re missing your peak foodie experience.

I remember one early June summer night back in 2006 when my dog Huxley and I lived in a cute little apartment over my bookstore on Circuit avenue. It was about 10 p.m. and I developed one of those blood-lust cravings for a Back Door donut. Only problem was, I was too tired to spruce myself up. I wore sweat togs, my makeup was demolished and my hair stuck up in more directions than a cluster bomb.

So I planned a late-night raid: If I followed a course through the Campground, I could come out at Kennebec at the Union Chapel hillock, which is invariably dark. Then I would creep up Kennebec, slink into the parking lot, stand outside the donut joint. No one would see me. Anonymity was assured, and a bad hair night was a non-starter.

So owner Rita Brown greeted me at the Dutch half-open door. I asked for whatever pastry had most recently emerged from the dip in fizzy-hot oil. She told me, “Sure!” But first could I pose for a picture that she needed for her first-customer-of-the season?

“Oh, Rita, I look like Death Warmed Over.”

She must have agreed with my self-assessment because she recommended throwing Huxley over my shoulder, and facing away from the camera. She came out into the dark parking lot to snap the pic. Before she pressed the button, she explained, “This is for New York Magazine.”

I turned as the flash-bulb flared, a look of total horror compounding the look of me at my most egregiously floopy.

The moral of this story: The universe will get you, no matter what.

Right now, at the cheerful front section of the bakery, surrounded by T shirts tacked to the wall, and a phalanx of scones, donuts, muffins, fritters, cakes and, pies — and of course all those plain and fancy coffees (mochalatte, espresso con panne) — I locate the healthiest item I can find, a corn muffin. But 10 minutes later, I’m jonesing for something more decadent — a chocolate croissant? Oh my heavens! Or maybe a hermit, which, I recall from my reckless youth, is a kind of chocolate cookie in brownie form. Someone chain me to my chair like Odysseus at the mast!

At the adjacent table, two Oaks Bluffers, Al Badger and Robert Seale, originally from Framingham, catch up over coffee. Robert nibbles a bran muffin and Al finishes off a lemon square. Al was a high school principal, and Robert’s son was one of his students. Now they live here year round, clearly enjoying the heck out of their retirement.

Scamel Abraham stands tall behind the counter. Scamel hails from St. Andrew, Jamaica, a big town that borders the still bigger Kingstown. This marks Scamel’s ninth summer on the Vineyard, his eighth helping to hold down the fort at Rita’s bakery — both the Edgartown branch (recently closed) and this one.

The worst has happened — I just bought a chocolate croissant. It’s not the end of the world. Just the beginning of summer.

A fun event has been planned for kids — and France fans — at the Oak Bluffs Library on Saturday, April 28 at 10 a.m. Jennifer Rodgers Schilling (wife of the gorgeous, Rasta-headed Roger at C’Est La Vie) will present Les Petits Francophones. For all ages of people who speak French or don’t speak French but enjoy hearing it, there will be French games, crafts, songs and fun à lafrançaise.

Put this in your pipe and smoke it, too: the annual Della Hardman Day, to be held on Saturday, July 28, 4 p.m. in Ocean Park, will feature guest speaker Nikki Giovanni. For those of us with uncommonly fond memories of Della, this tradition keeps alive our love and the inspiration she bestowed on each one of us. I happen to be following in the footsteps (with the esteemed Bettye Baker of D.C. and O.B. stepping up in the summer) of Della in this town column, and Della took over from Dorothy West. Them’s big shoes (Dorothy’s and Della’s) to step into!

Okay, I’m gonna get myself a cappuccino.