Editors, Vineyard Gazette:
I have to come clean. The race results for the Chilmark Road Race are in error. I, James Graham did not really run that fast this year. I did not finish number 5, right behind Steven Rattner in the 60 to 69 age group. I know the CRR permanent record book is besmirched but there is a semi-valid reason. Yes, I scalped my ticket, truth be told. My wife saw this cute ad in the Gazette that a certain Christopher McGarry, aka James Graham for about 25 minutes on August 10, had indeed incurred the wrath of his wife because he did not sign up for the CRR in time and was shut out. He would pay “top dollar.” I was signed up but tore my meniscus playing that rough contact sport of tennis and was out of action. I contacted Chris, told him I was glad to help him out and just pay me the $30 entrance fee. I had no idea how to do the switch, but he simply said he would be me and pick up my package, T-shirt and all. He was thrilled and “tipped” me a little when he sent me the check. It will be all be recycled into the Vineyard economy. I hope the organizers will forgive me this indiscretion but I felt it was for a good cause; matrimonial harmony for the McGarrys.
James Graham, West Tisbury