In Tisbury town on Church street,

the traffic all was stuck

So those who’d gone on shopping sprees

were clearly out of luck.

They grumped and groaned and left their cars,

And some among them longed for bars

Though they could find right many a snack,

To soothe frayed tempers, but — alack —

There was no wine or beer for sale,

Only soft drinks like ginger ale.

Since by one vote the town decreed

It did not want — it did not need

Drinks alcoholic in the town

That for sobriety is renowned.

So seething shoppers paced Main street,

And some got blisters on their feet

As they paced up and down — oh my

Too frustrated to stop and buy

Gifts for their family and friends,

And wondered why on roads and bends

The traffic was so very stuck.

It seemed something had gone amok.

I ndeed it had, for Santa Claus

With his reindeer had scoffed the laws

That limit parking to two hours —

(If more than that, then Chief Cashin glowers).

St. Nick had really been blase

And told his deer to stop the sleigh

On Church street there at just midway

’Twixt Main and Williams, so they’d dropped

Out of the sky right then and there

With a great swish through the morning air.

And all their bells were soon a-jingling

And local folks were out there, mingling

With Donner, Blitzen and the rest,

Patting their noses with great zest.

They stopped the traffic — woe is me —

It really was a sight to see.

Till the deer decided to leave the sleigh

In the Beadniks lot and be off and away

To a grassy spot where they could play

While Nick gave out his presents galore.

T his year, it seemed, there were even more

Than in sunnier years when money is freer

And all is well with the high financiers.

He’d wanted to land at the Bunch of Grapes

To show that it’s open again in good shape.

And for its new owner whose name is Braasch, Dawn

He’d a first edition of The Marble Faun

And building materials for the full-fledged store

Which will be in the spring where it was before.

Then for Ann Nelson, that feisty dame,

Who gave the bookstore its national fame,

There were treats for her cats, so grand they are

While Mary Jane Pease got some caviar.

Then Bobby Dias got a new pickup truck

And Eleanor Pearlson bushels of luck.

There was some of that, too, for Evelyn O’Brien

Who never, ever does stop smilin’.

For Polly Murphy there was ice cream

Coffee heathbar crunch is her favorite, it seems.

F or Zada Clarke there was a shed

While Gretchen Jacobs got a hat, red

Since that is a color she likes so much

And then there was for Teri Praskach

A lifetime supply of Metromix

So that she never will have to fix

Her pretty garden that brightens the day

For many of those down Cove House way.

There was a sponge for Hans von Steiger

(Admittedly it means lots of labor)

But with it in hand he should make Ocean Park

A pleasanter place for walks after dark.

There was a poinsettia for Helen Brown

And for Stella Napior a fancy gown.

Craig McKenzie got candy canes

For all the driving he does in dirt lanes.

Then David Finkelstein got eye shades

For sunny beach days, while more parades

Were promised Ted Morgan by Santa Claus.

For A’Bell Washburn were more gifts to PAWS.

Peter Wells got more sand for his sandbox sand

That he gives to youngsters which is so grand.

F or Polly Brown was an eight-pound blue.

She knows about fish a thing or two.

There were new hockey skates for Capt. Mark Young

And for Cisi Flynn a beetlebung

To have in her own Lagoon backyard

While Madeleine Tully got some Swiss chard

To grow in her garden and to make thrive.

And for Steve Tully there were some chives.

Bob Caldwell got a cashmere sweater —

Cozy and warm, what could be better?

For Nancy Whipple there was yeast for her bread,

Which is the best just everyone’s said.

Ann Burt, at last, got a TV cable

And Kristen Buck a brand new table.

There were Portuguese tiles for Kevin Hatt —

He lays them so well they’re like a mat.

Penn Kimball got more books to read

While Anna Alley got grass seed.

F or John Balboni was a hearty red wine

He really enjoys one when he dines.

And Diane Nolan got a marathon win

(If she had not, ’twould have been a sin.)

While Jimmy Alley got a new car

And Anne Lesnikowski some arctic char.

For Elizabeth Sandland there were spa days

In the Caribbean so she could laze.

Then David Steere got a new ditch digger.

There were Patti Linn truffles for Dick Fligor.

Sophie Churchill got wool for knitting;

She never did like to be just sitting.

Then for Mike Wallo was a rare book

And a bouquet of flowers for that Hurd, Took.

Then Greyson Bowker got a new Coach bag

And Alan Reekie a Scottish flag.

For Fossil Fred Hotchkiss were starfish galore

And horseshoe crabs which he likes even more.

Then Paul Pickard got exotic spice

For his gourmet cooking which is so nice.

A nd Ted Meinelt had a host of good wishes

From his long-ago students while cookies delicious

For Luther Madison of Aquinnah fame

Were in Santa’s pack and more of the same

For Peggy Freydberg who’s 100 now

And to whom St. Nick made a special bow

From his perch on his sleigh; he

said he wished she were there.

Then he pulled from his sack a stuffed baby bear

As a gift for Jean Flanders who is so sweet.

And then Bob Pachico got thanks for his meat

From Island-wide friends who so like to eat.

Jim Aspagito got a trip to Bangkok

And for Jim Powell there was a new flock

Of sheep for his meadows to keep them trim;

Then Mari Harmon so she’ll stay slim

Got an indoor pool that will make her happy

While for Edo Potter who lives on Chappy

Were accolades for all her good work,

She never has known how to shirk,

Then John Daryen got cutting board wood —

He cuts a board the way one should.

For the Jay Bodmars was a welcome mat

For their new house and that was that.

For Vinny Iacono was a rubber dirt bike

That bounces off trees — it’s quite a sight.

For Nancy Delaney there was mistletoe

And new dog leashes for Smith, Joe.

While Mike McCormick got good walking shoes

For parading in, while there was a cruise

For Selena Roman, and sugarplums

For Kayla deBettencourt and her chums.

T hen Harvey Everett got a candy cane

And for Ann Wallace was a trip to Maine.

Chuck Hodgkinson got a Red Sox cap

And Dana Gaines — that kayaking chap

Good days for kayaking on Katama Bay

And exotic journeys for the Kellmans, Ray.

Dr. Bob Franklin got a lottery win

Which surely will be very pleasing to him.

While John T. Hughes got fine golfing days

Since golf with him is truly a craze

And Bette Carroll got holly and ivy;

They’re really gifts that are quite jivey.

For Debbie Raymond, there were visits to Cayden.

And music recitals for Michael Haydn.

Eulalie Regan got Jamaican coffee

And for her Peter there was toffee.

Then for Riley Deeble was a ferry pass

And there was another for that lass

Barbara Cotterill to see her family

While there was for that Kass, Amalie

A Wellesley banner for her to wave.

And for Basil Welch with no more graves

To take care of in the year ahead

Sheaves of paper to write on instead

Since he likes to write letters and poems and such

A gift of paper was not too much.

Then Cathlin Baker and her crew

Who are to the Island somewhat new

Got candy canes and chocolate candy

Which for Hardy was really dandy.

W hile for Phronzie Conlin there were roses, red

And good fishing in Florida for Mayhew, Ted.

June Manning got a new e-mail address

That her friends can use without duress.

Then Joseph Moujabber got a mobile home

In which he can all over roam.

Everett Poole got a motor, at last

For his convertible that has such class

And Prudy Whiting got more Isla Jane time —

Time that she finds so very sublime.

And for Jim Reston box office wows

For the film Frost-Nixon he should take bows.

While Allan Keith got a yellow rail

And for Isaac Russell there was a sail

In Bluebeard, the boat that he likes so

When on Tisbury Great Pond there’s a good blow.

Then for Ted Hoagland was a Zambia trip

To write about and for Harrington, Flip

Were more rare birds for him to sight

In faraway places or Menemsha Bight.

Then Amy Brown got a brand new horn

For her motorized scooter so she can warn

That she’s on her way about Edgartown

Where she’s a resident of renown.

Then Mark DiOrio got a visit to Rome

With all his crew who like to roam

About in Italy, it’s such fun,

While Bill McGurty who likes to run

Got winged running shoes so away he’ll go

Through wind and rain and even snow.

A nd Ed Lee Oliver got a map

Since he is such a traveling chap

To help him on his many journeys.

There were holly trees for the Tim Guineys.

And for the Jim Coynes was a welcome mat,

While Yvette Eastman for her new cat

Got catnip aplenty from Henshaw, Kristie

And then there were for Manter, Missy

Wings for her shoes when she goes on a run

Which she often does — she finds it such fun.

For Katharine Tweed there were books to read

While Suzanne Trotta got dog feed.

The day was passing and St. Nick’s deer

Had eaten their fill of the grass far and near

On Church street lawns, so back they flew

To see if St. Nick with his task was through.

He looked in his sack and ’twas all emptied out

So off he then was with a joyous shout

Of Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night

As he flew through the sky and was soon out of sight.